Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Greatest Father's Day Gift

As families’ gather to show love and appreciation for all that fathers have done for us, you can give something back to him by having a difficult, but critically important conversation, about planning for his long term care.

Although it is difficult to persuade any parent to discuss the issue of long term care, it can be raised with the approach of enabling them to retain control of their options and financial security. You can play an important role in helping both your parents maintain their independence and dignity by helping them create a plan. Fathers are used to playing the “provider” role for their families, and resist the efforts to be “provided for.”

Facing a long term care need is usually a crisis that family members or close friends are forced to address. As seniors are faced with the struggle of losing independence, they resist burdening a daughter or son with their care. Seniors often hide their struggles and become the primary care givers for each other. However, when caring for a spouse, they neglect their own health issues and often end up passing away before the spouse they were caring for.

When children of aging parents end up being responsible for their parents care, they face many conflicts between of the commitments they have to their own families and work. When a parent is in care, it often causes conflict and strain on the relationships among the siblings, causing parents more distress.

With the average cost of custodial home care being $20 an hour and the cost of a nursing home at $75,000 a year, the financial impact on families can also be devastating and may leave families having to depend on nursing home care through government assistance.
All of these burdens can be greatly reduced by having a plan that includes parental wishes and resources in place to pay for the appropriate care in the setting of their choice. It’s never too soon to have those plans in place, yet, if you wait too long, it will be too late.

The most loving Father’s Day gift you can give is to encourage and help your parents plan for a long term care need. It’s a gift from the heart that is truly priceless.

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